


manly enough

by veriwyn



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: FTM Oikawa Tooru, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Self-Indulgent, Trans Oikawa Tooru, Trans character written by trans author, can be read as platonic, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veriwyn/pseuds/veriwyn
Summary: "He was always so careful.Every move he made was calculated, cautious. He had a secret, and no one could know about it."-----Oikawa had a secret. What happens when it gets found out?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 8
Kudos: 224





	manly enough

He was always so careful.

Every move he made was calculated, cautious. He had a secret, and no one could know about it.

Well, no one but Iwaizumi, but that was to be expected.

He always showered last, always dressed separately. Sure, he got comments from his teammates, teasing and benign in nature, but it was worth it to keep it to himself.

But his teammates were so _distracting_. They always ruffled his hair and made him laugh in ways that cleared his head of all negative thoughts. It was easy to forget the simplest of things with them. He felt comfortable with everyone by his side.

Too comfortable, he found out.

He was in the middle of responding to a snide remark when the locker room went deadly silent.

“Guys?”

He turned his head behind him only to be met with looks of shock and confusion, their eyes widened and mouths agape.

Even Iwaizumi shared their expressions, but something else was there, something akin to fear.

What could Iwaizumi of all people be afraid of right now? And why was it directed at him?

“Tooru,” Iwaizumi started. The use of his given name was usually reserved for their quiet moments in each other’s homes, not in the casual air of the locker room, and it startled him for a moment.

“Iwa-chan? What…” his voice faded as he finally realized. 

He had pulled his shirt off just enough to show the two crescent scars under his pecs. 

“Oh.”

The tears began to well up in his eyes, glossing over his vision, but he put on his signature saccharine smile, the one so large he had to shut his eyes to make room for it. “I guess the secret’s out, huh?”

Iwaizumi reached out to him, but Oikawa jerked away so he could pull his shirt off the rest of the way. He stood there, pretending to be proud of his truth, with his hands on his hips and his shoulders arched back with the smile still hanging.

“I wasn’t always this manly or beautiful. It took some work, both by me and my doctors, but now look at me! Captain of the best volleyball team, adored by every girl and a perfect student. I’m the perfect package!” he said, sounding more shaken than he wanted.

“Are you... you know….?” Kindaichi began to ask, but Oikawa saw he seemed incapable of saying the word.

“Trans?” Oikawa supplied before nodding. “Yeah. Have been since birth!”

“And your parents are okay with that?” Watari blurted. He clamped his hands over his mouth, and Oikawa almost felt bad for him.

“It took some time, but my sister helped them come around.” Oikawa shrugged. “They’re just happy I’m happy.”

“Iwaizumi, we’re guessing you knew?” Hanamaki asked. Oikawa noticed no spite in his words, but genuine curiosity. Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa before nodding. “Makes sense.”

“Guess you were there for most of the changes, after all,” Matsukawa added. “Vice captain in life and in teamwork.”

“Iwa-chan’s the best! He’s been there through every surgery and doctor’s appointment! You’d be surprised how much medical work I really have to go through for it. I mean, even a shot every week-”

“Tooru.”

Iwaizumi’s gaze was enough to stop anyone in their tracks. Stony, exasperated, _anxious_. It was a look Oikawa had only seen a few times, but it was enough to stop him every time.

“I don’t care,” a small voice popped up.

All eyes turned to the source. 

Yahaba was staring at his shoes, fists clenched at his sides, arms shaking. “You’re still my captain.”

That was it, the last straw.

The tears came flowing out of Oikawa’s eyes easily, like rapids shaping out a canyon. He wasn’t sure if they were in relief or terror or apprehension, but he couldn’t stop them.

Kyoutani’s mouth opened and closed, clearly trying to say something that wouldn’t come out. Oikawa could only imagine a scathing remark coming from him. After all, not everyone was as accepting as iwaizumi or Yahaba, and someone on the team had to look at him differently, right?

“Tooru, let’s go home.”

Iwaizumi was grabbing his arm before he could register the sensation of being yanked out of the room. 

“Iwa-chan, at least let me put my shirt on!”

“You can put it on while we walk. We need to get home. My place?”

The affirmative was understood, a thick silence looming over them. No matter the tension, Iwaizumi kept his grip on Oikawa’s wrist, lightly pulling on him but mostly there for support, Oikawa knew.

A quick text to his mother and a greeting to Iwaizumi’s parents later, the boys were laying on Iwaizumi’s bed facing the ceiling, Iwaizumi’s calloused hand still holding onto Oikawa, the quiet still lingering.

“Tooru, look at me.”

Oikawa gulped, but did as he was told. Iwaizumi was watching him carefully, eyes glancing over the features of his face and the curves of his body. His grip tightened, a small squeeze of frustration and compassion.

Before Oikawa could respond, Iwaizumi was repositioning himself so he was straddling Oikawa and lightly tugging his shirt up.

“Let me see them. Please.”

Oikawa knew what he meant, but after today, he wanted to forget they ever existed, so he shook his head.

But God, did Iwaizumi’s disappointed face make him want to give in.

“You don’t have to look,” Iwaizumi said. “Close your eyes.”

“Okay.”

Oikawa clamped his eyes shut and let Iwaizumi slowly lift his shirt, hands gentle as they slid over his smooth skin. He couldn’t help the shiver that went up his spine at the soft touches.

A small gasp was ripped from his mouth as a brush of lips touched the sensitive areas of his scars. It was… uncomfortable and intimate, and it burned in ways Oikawa didn’t know skin could light up.

“Tooru, you said something earlier, about not always being manly,” Iwaizumi whispered against his chest. “But that’s not true. You’ve always been a man. Surgeries and shots be damned.”

If Oikawa thought he was done crying for the day, he was wrong.

“Hajime,” he hiccupped,”do you mean it?”

Iwaizumi answered with stronger kisses. Oikawa couldn’t handle the sensation. Iwaizumi had always hidden his soft side, but they’d never been so close. Never kissed. This was all new. 

“Do you still give your shots on your legs?”

Oikawa nodded, unable to speak anymore through his sobs, his eyes now open and studying every move Iwaizumi made.

Iwaizumi slowly lifted himself up, hands sliding down Oikawa’s sides before reaching the waistband of his track pants. Iwaizumi’s eyes met Oikawa’s, an unspoken question. Oikawa nodded and let Iwaizumi wriggle his pants off. 

Oikawa felt cold, the nakedness of his skin meeting the air and Iwaizumi’s glare. His legs were littered with old scars from harming himself in fits of rage at his body and bruises from overworking himself on the court. The spots from his weekly testosterone shots weren’t visible, but he could feel the ghost of the needle in his legs.

Iwaizumi started with his ankles, peppering kisses along the inside of his left leg, all over his thighs. Over his scars and over the fleshy spots the injections went through. He slowly made his way over to the right, doing the same and moving down towards his ankles again.

“Oikawa. Tooru. You’ve always and will always be a man. Who gives a fuck if you had to have surgery to get the body you were supposed to have? Or that you take shots to deepen your voice? Fuck anyone who has a problem with it.”

“Thank you, Hajime,” Oikawa said. “C’mere.”

Oikawa opened his arms, and Iwaizumi took the hint to dive in. He buried his head into the crook of Oikawa’s neck, and Oikawa rested his chin in that spiky hair of Iwaizumi’s, before falling asleep in each other’s warmth.

They could deal with the fallout tomorrow morning at practice.

Tonight, Oikawa felt like a man, and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> this is so much more self-indulgent than it is actually /good/ writing but i love trans oikawa and no one can take that from me!!!!
> 
> yell at me @/seijohforiwa on twitter!!


End file.
